Nerves are really starting to set in. I'm hitting the point where the baby stopped growing last time (though I didn't know it until a few weeks later). So far this morning, my symptoms are a little low: sense of smell and nausea are higher but soreness and cramping are down. I also woke up with a cold that's really kicking my butt!
I got back my blood results from last week finally - everything looks good. HCG is around 41K and progesterone is at 18.
I'm happy with those numbers. I have another 2 weeks until a new ultrasound.
Dan's trying to talk to me already about strollers - what are we keeping or selling. but I'm not ready to discuss stuff that serious yet - my brain doesn't want to handle it.
Last night I was thinking, wow i haven't had any bad dreams yet BUT then I have one just that evening.
I went into preterm labor and birthed the baby on my own in a public restroom, but the baby was maybe around 20 weeks. However, she was crying and opening here eyes - so everything looked good. however, she started to dry out as we waited for the ambulance. so i wrapped her in wet paper towel and that seemed to help.
December 19, 2018
December 13, 2018
6 weeks
Bad News: At about 5.5 weeks I was hit with a REALLY BAD stomach bug. I put me out for a solid 3-4 days. Today is day 5 and i'm better but still gaining strength back.
Good News:
We had an ultrasound yesterday; I was really scared. I started crying right away and couldn't open my eyes to look at the screen. BUT it all went really well! The Gestational Sac, Baby, and Yolk Sac were all measuring on track (or close to it). They said the baby is too small to date accurately now, but looks just fine from what they can see. Best of all, we saw the heartbeat! I think it was at about 93/94. All of this was seem through only an abdominal ultrasound. I was really surprised as i've read many times it's hard to see a baby let a long detect a heartbeat at a 6 week ultrasound through an abdominal ultrasound. So, i'm pretty happy. Doc reminded us to get alert the media yet, but we are rolling.
As of now here's who knows:
* my parents
* dan's parents
* All my docs (midwife, OB, acupuncturist, hematologist)
* Ashley
* Melissa
* Probably my SIL
* A whole bunch of people on my facebook support groups
Good News:
We had an ultrasound yesterday; I was really scared. I started crying right away and couldn't open my eyes to look at the screen. BUT it all went really well! The Gestational Sac, Baby, and Yolk Sac were all measuring on track (or close to it). They said the baby is too small to date accurately now, but looks just fine from what they can see. Best of all, we saw the heartbeat! I think it was at about 93/94. All of this was seem through only an abdominal ultrasound. I was really surprised as i've read many times it's hard to see a baby let a long detect a heartbeat at a 6 week ultrasound through an abdominal ultrasound. So, i'm pretty happy. Doc reminded us to get alert the media yet, but we are rolling.
As of now here's who knows:
* my parents
* dan's parents
* All my docs (midwife, OB, acupuncturist, hematologist)
* Ashley
* Melissa
* Probably my SIL
* A whole bunch of people on my facebook support groups
December 5, 2018
5 Weeks Today
Shots aren't so bad; bruising seems to be limited on only my left side.
I had my 1st acupuncture treatment since being pregnant. I feel calmer today (VERY stressful week at work) and a lot less bloated- my pants are actually comfortable today.
We ended up telling our parents maybe a week ago - my SIL started selling her baby stuff and I wanted her to hand it down to me! So we told Dan's mom so she would slyly tell Dan's sister not to sell her stuff. So, since Dan's mom knew, I had to tell my mom!
I had my 1st acupuncture treatment since being pregnant. I feel calmer today (VERY stressful week at work) and a lot less bloated- my pants are actually comfortable today.
We ended up telling our parents maybe a week ago - my SIL started selling her baby stuff and I wanted her to hand it down to me! So we told Dan's mom so she would slyly tell Dan's sister not to sell her stuff. So, since Dan's mom knew, I had to tell my mom!
November 26, 2018
Pregnant!
I’m pregnant again and I feel so calm and happy with this one. My body feels good.
I have to give myself daily injections of lovenox throughout my pregnancy.
OB is getting me in for an early scan at 6 weeks, 2.5 weeks from today.
I have a lot of planning to do for birth as I am not allowed to homebirth while on lovenox - I literally had to run to the bathroom and cry when I found this out.
I had such a beautiful birth pictured...
I haven’t told friends or family yet - just docs and my internet pregnancy / lovenox groups
*** The Fun Stuff ***
I tracked my BBT for these last few conceptions and this chart was giving me the 1st hints that things were looking good :)
I have to give myself daily injections of lovenox throughout my pregnancy.
OB is getting me in for an early scan at 6 weeks, 2.5 weeks from today.
I have a lot of planning to do for birth as I am not allowed to homebirth while on lovenox - I literally had to run to the bathroom and cry when I found this out.
I had such a beautiful birth pictured...
I haven’t told friends or family yet - just docs and my internet pregnancy / lovenox groups
*** The Fun Stuff ***
I tracked my BBT for these last few conceptions and this chart was giving me the 1st hints that things were looking good :)
The positive test
How I told Dan; I texted him this picture
2018
There’s a lot to catch up on since my last post - so i’ll jot down some notes and flush them out later:
* miscarriage memorial say weekend 5/25.
* started acupuncture and got a full heath blood panel and checkup -everything looks great
* started Chinese herbs, Vit D, Vit B complex, prenatal, also stopped eating spicy foods
* casually “tried from July - Aug
* surprisingly got pregnant in sept - but ended in a 3rd miscarriage - a strange chemical
* saw some napro docs right after this
* friend at work took me to her OBGYN
* contacted a psychic - she told me she would see me getting pregnant soon and it ended in a baby, probably a girl
* had a full RMP and found I have facto v lieden - seeming a hematologist now
* OB started me on progesterone before BFP
* miscarriage memorial say weekend 5/25.
* started acupuncture and got a full heath blood panel and checkup -everything looks great
* started Chinese herbs, Vit D, Vit B complex, prenatal, also stopped eating spicy foods
* casually “tried from July - Aug
* surprisingly got pregnant in sept - but ended in a 3rd miscarriage - a strange chemical
* saw some napro docs right after this
* friend at work took me to her OBGYN
* contacted a psychic - she told me she would see me getting pregnant soon and it ended in a baby, probably a girl
* had a full RMP and found I have facto v lieden - seeming a hematologist now
* OB started me on progesterone before BFP
May 23, 2018
Scared
We are in limbo right now:
5/14 - 5/18 I had migraines all week and a few days of stomach/bathroom problems. I went home early on friday feeling like crap and getting a little clamy
5/19 I woke up feeling "off", that something was wrong. when i went to the bathroom i had a few streaks of blood in my CM. they were thin and red - almost like a vein in an eyeball.
I got into a midwife clinic to get an US and I left with a diagnosis of a miscarriage. I was supposed to be about 9 weeks along and I was only measuring 6+3 weeks - they also saw a little bleeding inside and no heartbeat
5/19-5/21: On the phone a number of times per day with my midwife deciding what the next steps would be. I didn't want to do anything harsh, but I didn't want it to go on for as long as it did last time PLUS I had out of town company over at the end of the week.
On sunday we decided that I take a few doses of an herbal liquid that's supposed to start labor - nothing happened. So, I got an appointment at an OB to discuss my options.
5/21: I go into this appointment with dred and depression. I felt lack of feeling with the exception of fear and feeling not in control. Also, I felt like anything we were going to do was some kind of abortion - it all felt wrong.
Being we discussed any options the midwife wanted to take a look for herself and did another exam. She saw no heartbeat or movement but also said she saw growth as my gestational sac was now at 6+6. She said it's extremely possible that I was just a lot earlier than planned and if that's correct, it would be very early to see a heartbeat.
So - we left with a new plan: take a blood draw of my hgc and progesterone that day and come back in 3 days to test again. Also, the following week we are doing another scan - in hopes of finding a heartbeat.
Right now I'm feeling much calmer and very hopeful. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have an amazing group of women around me on this journey.
Note: I have been on 200mg of a light, vaginal progesterone pill since I got my first BFP. With this 1st round of testing we saw that my HCG is great, over 10K, but my progesterone is low 6.1. So, as soon as CVS fills my Rx will be on a stronger progesterone pill 2x/day.
5/14 - 5/18 I had migraines all week and a few days of stomach/bathroom problems. I went home early on friday feeling like crap and getting a little clamy
5/19 I woke up feeling "off", that something was wrong. when i went to the bathroom i had a few streaks of blood in my CM. they were thin and red - almost like a vein in an eyeball.
I got into a midwife clinic to get an US and I left with a diagnosis of a miscarriage. I was supposed to be about 9 weeks along and I was only measuring 6+3 weeks - they also saw a little bleeding inside and no heartbeat
5/19-5/21: On the phone a number of times per day with my midwife deciding what the next steps would be. I didn't want to do anything harsh, but I didn't want it to go on for as long as it did last time PLUS I had out of town company over at the end of the week.
On sunday we decided that I take a few doses of an herbal liquid that's supposed to start labor - nothing happened. So, I got an appointment at an OB to discuss my options.
5/21: I go into this appointment with dred and depression. I felt lack of feeling with the exception of fear and feeling not in control. Also, I felt like anything we were going to do was some kind of abortion - it all felt wrong.
Being we discussed any options the midwife wanted to take a look for herself and did another exam. She saw no heartbeat or movement but also said she saw growth as my gestational sac was now at 6+6. She said it's extremely possible that I was just a lot earlier than planned and if that's correct, it would be very early to see a heartbeat.
So - we left with a new plan: take a blood draw of my hgc and progesterone that day and come back in 3 days to test again. Also, the following week we are doing another scan - in hopes of finding a heartbeat.
Right now I'm feeling much calmer and very hopeful. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have an amazing group of women around me on this journey.
Note: I have been on 200mg of a light, vaginal progesterone pill since I got my first BFP. With this 1st round of testing we saw that my HCG is great, over 10K, but my progesterone is low 6.1. So, as soon as CVS fills my Rx will be on a stronger progesterone pill 2x/day.
January 17, 2018
Miscarriage
So, I think i'm having a miscarriage today.
I got my positive pregnancy tests from about 1/9 - 1/12, but I started bleeding on about 1/4.
At first I was super excited b/c I thought early blood meant implantation blood, but I had only ovulated on about 1/1 so it was way too early for that..non then less I was excited. The bleeding got worse later in the day so I ended up texting one of the midwives I had just interviewed the week before. She said as long as i'm not filling pad, everything was ok and that I should just go on "pelvic rest". I kept her in the loop that the bleeding hadn't stopped so she suggested going on a progesterone serum and quickly up-ed my dosage. that didn't help. so, she scheduled a 6 week ultrasound to see how things were going.
I told her with all the help she was giving me I should probably pay my deposit and make it official, but based on what I was telling her she wouldn't even take my money until we knew it was for sure :(
Now this entire time the bleeding never came out - i only saw it when i wiped and other then 2 instances of minor spotting, it always came out in my CM. The colors ranged from pink, red, and brown and from a lot to a little.
I had started off by using the cheap internet strips to test and they were getting darker from the 9th - 11th and then on the 12th started to get lighter. so on that day I bought one of the fancy ones at the store and that clearly showed up positive. But going back to the internet strips they kept getting ligher almost to the point of being negative....
I told her things aren't getting better so she suggested we finally do some blood work so we know where things are going, so we did that yesterday and I don't even have the results back yet.
Well, today on exactly week 4 (1/17), i think it's over. i woke up this morning and consistant bleeding started to stream out and it was "period red" and with small clots coming out. :( also, yesterday afternoon at work I passed a large mass of something.
The fat lady hasn't sung yet, but she's backstage warming up.
I thought everything was going to line up just right too:
* the last time i got pregnant Sarah just gave birth - and she just gave birth this month too
* the last time i was pregnant was the last time I visited melissa - and we just booked a trip to see her this spring!
* sean's birthday and #2's birthday could have been in the same week
I got my positive pregnancy tests from about 1/9 - 1/12, but I started bleeding on about 1/4.
At first I was super excited b/c I thought early blood meant implantation blood, but I had only ovulated on about 1/1 so it was way too early for that..non then less I was excited. The bleeding got worse later in the day so I ended up texting one of the midwives I had just interviewed the week before. She said as long as i'm not filling pad, everything was ok and that I should just go on "pelvic rest". I kept her in the loop that the bleeding hadn't stopped so she suggested going on a progesterone serum and quickly up-ed my dosage. that didn't help. so, she scheduled a 6 week ultrasound to see how things were going.
I told her with all the help she was giving me I should probably pay my deposit and make it official, but based on what I was telling her she wouldn't even take my money until we knew it was for sure :(
Now this entire time the bleeding never came out - i only saw it when i wiped and other then 2 instances of minor spotting, it always came out in my CM. The colors ranged from pink, red, and brown and from a lot to a little.
I had started off by using the cheap internet strips to test and they were getting darker from the 9th - 11th and then on the 12th started to get lighter. so on that day I bought one of the fancy ones at the store and that clearly showed up positive. But going back to the internet strips they kept getting ligher almost to the point of being negative....
I told her things aren't getting better so she suggested we finally do some blood work so we know where things are going, so we did that yesterday and I don't even have the results back yet.
Well, today on exactly week 4 (1/17), i think it's over. i woke up this morning and consistant bleeding started to stream out and it was "period red" and with small clots coming out. :( also, yesterday afternoon at work I passed a large mass of something.
The fat lady hasn't sung yet, but she's backstage warming up.
I thought everything was going to line up just right too:
* the last time i got pregnant Sarah just gave birth - and she just gave birth this month too
* the last time i was pregnant was the last time I visited melissa - and we just booked a trip to see her this spring!
* sean's birthday and #2's birthday could have been in the same week
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)