Scared

We are in limbo right now:
 5/14 - 5/18 I had migraines all week and a few days of stomach/bathroom problems. I went home early on friday feeling like crap and getting a little clamy

5/19 I woke up feeling "off", that something was wrong. when i went to the bathroom i had a few streaks of blood in my CM. they were thin and red - almost like a vein in an eyeball.
I got into a midwife clinic to get an US and I left with a diagnosis of a miscarriage. I was supposed to be about 9 weeks along and I was only measuring 6+3 weeks - they also saw a little bleeding inside and no heartbeat

5/19-5/21: On the phone a number of times per day with my midwife deciding what the next steps would be. I didn't want to do anything harsh, but I didn't want it to go on for as long as it did last time PLUS I had out of town company over at the end of the week.
On sunday we decided that I take a few doses of an herbal liquid that's supposed to start labor - nothing happened. So, I got an appointment at an OB to discuss my options.

5/21: I go into this appointment with dred and depression. I felt lack of feeling with the exception of fear and feeling not in control. Also, I felt like anything we were going to do was some kind of abortion - it all felt wrong.
Being we discussed any options the midwife wanted to take a look for herself and did another exam. She saw no heartbeat or movement but also said she saw growth as my gestational sac was now at 6+6.  She said it's extremely possible that I was just a lot earlier than planned and if that's correct, it would be very early to see a heartbeat.
So - we left with a new plan: take a blood draw of my hgc and progesterone that day and come back in 3 days to test again. Also, the following week we are doing another scan - in hopes of finding a heartbeat.

Right now I'm feeling much calmer and very hopeful. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have an amazing group of women around me on this journey.

Note: I have been on 200mg of a light, vaginal progesterone pill since I got my first BFP. With this 1st round of testing we saw that my HCG is great, over 10K, but my progesterone is low 6.1. So, as soon as CVS fills my Rx will be on a stronger progesterone pill 2x/day.