Weeks 8 - 10!

Can't believe it's been this many weeks since I wrote.

Week 8: Landed over Christmas break. We were in Denver visiting my SIL. I was worried about the altitude - doc didn't say much but my SIL said that I will burn more calories and be winded very easily.

Well, I really only had energy to lay on the couch - for real! I also ate until the point of wanting to throw-up twice - and my skin's oil production was through the rough!

With all that laying around I was worried I would put on weight, but I didn't :)

Week 9: I had an ultrasound that week. That part of the appointment went really well. Baby is measuring perfectly on schedule and we saw a really strong heartbeat, about 181/bpm.

However, the next part of the appointment went downhill fast. I had a meeting with the doctor (like, in his office and not the exam room). He was excited b/c the ultrasound was so good and described it as we are "off and running". So he started to to lay out the full plan for me through delivery - and all of a sudden he became a typical by-the-book OB. He wants to induce me at 38 weeks! I started to explain my distaste for that idea and the mood quickly changed. he said he was confused at my frustration b/c he thought he was delivering good news and we would be celebrating. he asked me what my concern is and I said I was too upset to talk about - I really wanted to break down and cry at that moment.

After this meeting he said I was due for my pap - well, for the last 2-3 appointments I've been declining the pap - I don't need one now. but I was too defeated at this point to say no again. Which for me is a bad sign b/c I don't want a situation happing like that in birth where I just submit to his ideas against my will b/c i'm too defeated or exhausted to say no.

SO, i'm on the hunt for a new practitioner. I'm keeping my appointment with this OB in the meantime so I still have continuous care.

Week 10: Today! Things still seem good. My symptoms are about the same and my belly is growing nicely. Still pretty oily. In december I was sick twice and I'm sitting here sick again! It's too early for me to take OTC so i'm heavily relying on my oils! They are working and I did my research on if they are safe in pregnancy. However, there is a lot of mixed ideas on there on this topic so it's still a bit of risk - but I also believe me in pain in with a sinus infection isn't good for this situation either.

7 weeks

Nerves are really starting to set in. I'm hitting the point where the baby stopped growing last time (though I didn't know it until a few weeks later). So far this morning, my symptoms are a little low: sense of smell and nausea are higher but soreness and cramping are down. I also woke up with a cold that's really kicking my butt!

I got back my blood results from last week finally - everything looks good. HCG is around 41K and progesterone is at 18.

I'm happy with those numbers. I have another 2 weeks until a new ultrasound.

Dan's trying to talk to me already about strollers - what are we keeping or selling. but I'm not ready to discuss stuff that serious yet - my brain doesn't want to handle it.

Last night I was thinking, wow i haven't had any bad dreams yet BUT then I have one just that evening.
I went into preterm labor and birthed the baby on my own in a public restroom, but the baby was maybe around 20 weeks. However, she was crying and opening here eyes - so everything looked good. however, she started to dry out as we waited for the ambulance. so i wrapped her in wet paper towel and that seemed to help.

6 weeks

Bad News: At about 5.5 weeks I was hit with a REALLY BAD stomach bug. I put me out for a solid 3-4 days. Today is day 5 and i'm better but still gaining strength back.

Good News:
We had an ultrasound yesterday; I was really scared. I started crying right away and couldn't open my eyes to look at the screen. BUT it all went really well! The Gestational Sac, Baby, and Yolk Sac were all measuring on track (or close to it). They said the baby is too small to date accurately now, but looks just fine from what they can see. Best of all, we saw the heartbeat! I think it was at about 93/94. All of this was seem through only an abdominal ultrasound. I was really surprised as i've read many times it's hard to see a baby let a long detect a heartbeat at a 6 week ultrasound through an abdominal ultrasound. So, i'm pretty happy. Doc reminded us to get alert the media yet, but we are rolling.
As of now here's who knows:
* my parents
* dan's parents
* All my docs (midwife, OB, acupuncturist, hematologist)
* Ashley
* Melissa
* Probably my SIL
* A whole bunch of people on my facebook support groups

5 Weeks Today

Shots aren't so bad; bruising seems to be limited on only my left side.

I had my 1st acupuncture treatment since being pregnant. I feel calmer today (VERY stressful week at work) and a lot less bloated- my pants are actually comfortable today.

We ended up telling our parents maybe a week ago - my SIL started selling her baby stuff and I wanted her to hand it down to me! So we told Dan's mom so she would slyly tell Dan's sister not to sell her stuff. So, since Dan's mom knew, I had to tell my mom!

Pregnant!

I’m pregnant again and I feel so calm and happy with this one. My body feels good.
I have to give myself daily injections of lovenox throughout my pregnancy.
OB is getting me in for an early scan at 6 weeks, 2.5 weeks from today.

I have a lot of planning to do for birth as I am not allowed to homebirth while on lovenox - I literally had to run to the bathroom and cry when I found this out.
I had such a beautiful birth pictured...

I haven’t told friends or family yet - just docs and my internet pregnancy / lovenox groups


*** The Fun Stuff ***

I tracked my BBT for these last few conceptions and this chart was giving me the 1st hints that things were looking good :)

The positive test

How I told Dan; I texted him this picture

2018

There’s a lot to catch up on since my last post - so i’ll jot down some notes and flush them out later:
* miscarriage memorial say weekend 5/25.
* started acupuncture and got a full heath blood panel and checkup -everything looks great
* started Chinese herbs, Vit D, Vit B complex, prenatal, also stopped eating spicy foods
* casually “tried from July - Aug
* surprisingly got pregnant in sept - but ended in a 3rd miscarriage - a strange chemical
* saw some napro docs right after this
* friend at work took me to her OBGYN
* contacted a psychic - she told me she would see me getting pregnant soon and it ended in a baby, probably a girl
* had a full RMP and found I have facto v lieden - seeming a hematologist now
* OB started me on progesterone before BFP

Scared

We are in limbo right now:
 5/14 - 5/18 I had migraines all week and a few days of stomach/bathroom problems. I went home early on friday feeling like crap and getting a little clamy

5/19 I woke up feeling "off", that something was wrong. when i went to the bathroom i had a few streaks of blood in my CM. they were thin and red - almost like a vein in an eyeball.
I got into a midwife clinic to get an US and I left with a diagnosis of a miscarriage. I was supposed to be about 9 weeks along and I was only measuring 6+3 weeks - they also saw a little bleeding inside and no heartbeat

5/19-5/21: On the phone a number of times per day with my midwife deciding what the next steps would be. I didn't want to do anything harsh, but I didn't want it to go on for as long as it did last time PLUS I had out of town company over at the end of the week.
On sunday we decided that I take a few doses of an herbal liquid that's supposed to start labor - nothing happened. So, I got an appointment at an OB to discuss my options.

5/21: I go into this appointment with dred and depression. I felt lack of feeling with the exception of fear and feeling not in control. Also, I felt like anything we were going to do was some kind of abortion - it all felt wrong.
Being we discussed any options the midwife wanted to take a look for herself and did another exam. She saw no heartbeat or movement but also said she saw growth as my gestational sac was now at 6+6.  She said it's extremely possible that I was just a lot earlier than planned and if that's correct, it would be very early to see a heartbeat.
So - we left with a new plan: take a blood draw of my hgc and progesterone that day and come back in 3 days to test again. Also, the following week we are doing another scan - in hopes of finding a heartbeat.

Right now I'm feeling much calmer and very hopeful. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have an amazing group of women around me on this journey.

Note: I have been on 200mg of a light, vaginal progesterone pill since I got my first BFP. With this 1st round of testing we saw that my HCG is great, over 10K, but my progesterone is low 6.1. So, as soon as CVS fills my Rx will be on a stronger progesterone pill 2x/day.